10. “More tiny hot dog appetizers? You betcha”
9. “Don’t forget to schedule an appointment with Joe the Mover”
8. “Quiet down! We don’t want to wake the Russians
7. “Todd, I’ve always wanted to know — what do you do exactly?”
6. “John McCain passed out in the dip
5. “Where can I check my pelt?”
4. “Bad news — the new governor just quit”
3. “Please accept this gift from all of us at Lenscrafters”
2. “Dancing with the Stars’ called, they got your resume”
1. “I haven’t seen you since the ‘Fire Dave Letterman’ Rally”
Missouri Is Taking The Scenic Route To Killing Old And Poor People
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Tomorrow, Missourians are slated to cast their votes on Amendment 5, a
proposition that seeks to *increase* taxes on seniors and middle-class
citizens in...
5 hours ago

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